Fraudulent
WARNING - This post may be a little too honest and raw for the average bear.
FRAUD
Ever felt like a fraud? Fraud is lie I’ve been susceptible to of late. The last few weeks have been extremely tiring as I’m dealing with a couple issues related to my Leukemia diagnosis last year. First, because I’m immunosuppressed, this respiratory infection is taking forever to clear up — I’m approach week 5 with it and don’t feel much better. Second, it seems likely that I am experiencing what is called “Graft vs Host Disease” which is common for Stem Cell transplant patients. It’s my body “fighting” the new guys. It’s treatable, but miserable at the same time. With these two issues going on, I’ve had symptoms of from coughing, wheezing, shortness of breath, congestion (nasal, head, and chest) skin irritation, high liver enzymes, etc., etc., etc. It’s been a long 4.5 weeks to say the least and to be honest with you, it’s been crushing not only to my body, but spirit and mind as well.
For the last several weeks I’ve had the opportunity to share in various churches on the subject of joy amid adversity. My text has been James 1:2-4 where James begins with these words in verse 2, “Count it all joy, brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds.” James continues to show how trials grow our faith and dependence upon the Lord. Friends, THIS I BELIEVE! There has been tremendous joy in this journey and I’m thankful! God has give me opportunities to share His Word and His love with countless people from medical staff, other cancer patience, to strangers outside a restaurant. Had I never been diagnosed, I would have never met any of these people and for that I’m truly grateful and there has been great joy. (Read James 1:2-4)
HOWEVER, behind the scenes, it’s been hard… especially if late. There have been many days of nights of tears — sometimes sobbing tears that is accompanied by doubts and fear. In a phone conversation with one of my dearest friends, Jeff, I told him that there are so many times that I feel like a FRAUD — that I should be better than tears and misery — that I should be 100% all the time and not let the discomforts become so defeating. Friends, that’s have I’ve felt of late; like a fraud who doesn’t practice what they preach. Thankfully, Jeff was able to walk me back from that ledge and remind me that I’m still human and as such, these feeling and emotions are real and normal.
FRAIL
The truth is that I am frail. We all are frail. We are human. We suffer aches and pains — our physical bodies are just that — physical. They break down, experience hurts, get sick, and weary. Paul said we are mere “earthen vessels” or “clay pots” and as such we have our chips and cracks just like any other clay pot. We are broken and that’s ok! It’s ok to be reminded of our frailty. When I think about it, it’s this reminder that can promote a greater understanding of our desperate need of God. (Read 2 Corinthians 4:7-18)
Yet, we must be careful, because in our frailty, we are most vulnerable to the lies of the enemy. In my case, feeling like a fraud. I confess to you that I have fallen victim to this lie more times than I care to admit. Peter reminds us that the enemy of our souls is waiting to pounce — he prowls about like a roaring lion seeking to devour. No doubt, I have some bite marks or at least have been so close that I’ve felt the drool of the lion’s mouth. (Read 1 Peter 5:8)
Friends, the enemy would love nothing more than to devour you in your weakest moments. One thing I’m continually learning or am trying more fully understand are Paul’s words when the Lord reminded Him that His grace is sufficient and that His power is made perfect in weakness. (Read 2 Corinthians 12:9-10). So, in my frailty and vulnerability, I am reminded that I am weak, but he is strong. I’m no fraud, just a frail human who Jesus calls a friend.
Friend
I am a friend of God. Not a fraud, but friend — a friend of He who sticks closer than a brother! That God would love a sinner such as I is nothing short than amazing. I’m longer an enemy of God, but one who has been invited to sit at His table. “What a fellowship; what a joy divine, leaning on the everlasting arms.” How freeing! (Read Proverbs 18:24; Romans 5:1-11).
Free
As a friend — better yet a Son of God, I am FREE from the lies and snares of the enemy. Truth has set me free! The truth of God and His tremendous love, mercy, and grace for me has set me free. I’m free from feeling like a fraud because the truth is that while I’m frail, I am a friend and as a friend, I am FREE! (Read John 8:32; Romans 8:1-8).
“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” — John 8:36
“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” — Galatians 5:1
Be encouraged today. It you are feeling defeated and downtrodden, be reminded of God’s amazing grace. If you have listened to the lies of the enemy, be reminded of the freedom you possess in Christ Jesus.
I love you my friends! You are not alone! We are in this together! I would love to talk to you sometime! Would you consider setting up a video-conference call with me? If so, CLICK HERE! I would love to encourage you and pray with you! YOU ARE LOVED!
To God Be The Glory!
PastorPusch
