Help My Unbelief
I want to take you to a conversation from Mark’s gospel between Jesus and a dad whose son was in desperate need of healing. The boy was possessed by an unclean spirit that was causing him to have seizures and to cause self-harm. I think this interaction is a perfect illustration of enduring faith even when it’s hard and I can totally relate to this guy. He didn’t want to presume of Jesus — he didn’t just EXPECTED Jesus to do anything — although I think he knew Jesus could do something. While we won’t get into the whole story, we can feel for the dad in verse 22 of Mark chapter 9 where he comes to Jesus with his request, “But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” – Mark 9:22. While we can’t see demeanor in scripture, I tend to believe Jesus responded with a gracious grin. Jesus said in verse 23, “If you can! All things are possible for one who believes.” – Mark 9:23. It’s as if Jesus asked, “Is there anything to hard for the Lord?” Now notice with me the dad’s response – this is the part where I completely relate. I get it. I can feel his words. “Immediately, the father of the child cried out and said, ‘I believe; help my unbelief.” – Mark 9:24.
Just over a month ago, I left the place I love so much — Rejoice Church, and I have no idea where I’m going and have conned myself into feelings of failure which feeds all the excuses I need to believe that I’ll never pastor again. I know this is false. “I believe; help my unbelief.” The last few weeks have been difficult as I am not preparing regular sermons, not caring for the people I’ve cared for over the last 11 years, not walking into a place that God has done some miraculous things in (by the way, church success IS NOT measured by the number of people in the seats). It’s been hard visiting other churches and not being the guy who is leading the flock – not for the spotlight, but for the sense of purpose knowing that’s where my heart lies.
I’m in an unfamiliar place and at times, it’s most uncomfortable... and lonely. More nights than not, my eyes have flooded with tears – sometimes uncontrollable sobs as I wonder and wait for what’s next – still fighting my demons of feeling like I no longer have purpose and pondering whether I will ever be able to get back “in” the saddle of pastoring or full-time ministry. I fight doubt and confusion. I feel like I’m missing some pieces to the my puzzle. I fight bitterness and anger – mostly at myself thinking this is all my fault and if I could just pull up my “spiritual bootstraps” or put on my “spiritual big-boy pants,” I’ll get over it. I KNOW THIS IS FALSE. “I believe; help my unbelief.”
The truth is, I CAN’T! BUT, GOD CAN! That’s my prayer. “Lord, I recognize I am nothing without you, but with you all things are possible.” So, in the waiting, I will continue to worship and do what I can to love and serve those God has put in my life. It’s hard sometimes, but I know greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world. I know God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. “I believe; help my unbelief.”
4 Short Lessons I’ve Been Learning
Believe the promises of God. He is faithful to His word.
Pray the Holy Spirit to increase your faith. He is always at work within you.
Surrender control to God. There’s no better position to be in.
Have faith in God… even when things may not make sense.
God holds all the pieces to life’s puzzle. He knows exactly where all the pieces fit!
If you have been going through the battle, let’s talk! Click HERE and let’s schedule a time! I’d love to pray with you and encourage you in the faith! YOU ARE LOVED! TO GOD BE THE GLORY!
Blessings,
PastorPusch
