5 Ways To Hurt Your Pastor
Hey Everyone! I’ve been silent the last two weeks as I have been UNDER ATTACK by the Sinus and Upper Respiratory Infections! I’m still not over it — I’m not really sure when it will end at this point, but wanted to share something with you by way of Thom Rainer, Founder and CEO of Church Answers. Baptist Press published the article written by Rainer entitled, “5 Ways To Hurt Your Pastor” and as I was reading the short article it immediately resonated with several conversations that I’ve had with pastor over the years and frankly, it touched on some hurts that I’ve personally experienced.
I linked the article above, but I want to list the 5 Ways Rainer Mentioned, and then offer some of my own counsel in case YOU are facing some of these hurts he mentions. (Again, please click on the article above and read it in its entirety… it’s short!)
5 Ways to Hurt Your Pastor - Thom Rainer
1. When church members say they are not being fed.
2. When church members say, “People are saying…”
3. When church members stop giving.
4. When church member say, “I love you Pastor, but..”
5. When church members complain about the Pastor’s family.
Have you ever had one or some of these sentiments expressed to you. I’m thankful for what Rainer calls them out to be, they are HURTS… for all the reasons he’s explained. Aside from what Rainer spoke to with each statement, I’ll add these thoughts.
When a member says “they are not being fed,” I have found there’s either a word they left off their statement or it’s a throw away statement all together. Either they left off the word “spoon” — that they are not being “spoon fed” or it’s a statement they’re throwing out the express their disgruntles or some other underlying issue. Many are simply not happy in their spiritual walk with God.
“People are saying…” — there’s not much to add to Rainer’s words. Often it’s what the person is saying AND saying to other people in hopes to rally them to “their side.” the Bible calls it “sowing discord among the brothers” (Proverbs 6:16-19) — A SIN GOD HATES AND CONSIDERS AN ABOMINATION!
When a “member stops giving,” like Rainer said, they haven’t stopped giving to you. They stopped giving to God and His church. They’re not only hurting themselves spiritually, but they are hurting the Body of Christ. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be that guy!
I hate “big buts” and I cannot lie! “I love you, BUT…”. I remember one Pastor tell me he would rather a member punch him in the face than to feed him a bunch half-truths or veiled lies. I agree with that pastor. Instead, “let your yes be yes and your no be no; anything more than this comes from evil.”
When you "complain about my family” it’s personal. I agree with Rainer. Pastor’s and their wives are well aware of their families shortcomings. I know I’m aware of ours and it’s a work of process — just like the work of God’s sanctification in the life of EVERY believer. YET, it’s personal and they truth is that the person complaining really has no idea what the Pastor’s family is dealing with if for no other reason than it’s a PASTOR’S FAMILY. The pressure placed upon the pastor’s family can be just as intense as the pressure the pastor faces leading the church. I will say personally that an attack on my family is worse than a personal attack on me. I think many parents feel that way.
Some Resolve
Grace and Mercy are your Friends. Some people are just mean-spirited. How that meshes with Christianity, they can only answer or “justify” that answer. Some people are never happy. It’s doesn’t matter what you do or say, their cup is ALWAY half empty. Regardless, take the high road. That doesn’t mean you let them walk all over you and allow them to bloody your lip, but rather you consider the source and move forward in God’s grace. Scripture is full of counsel concerning how to deal with others…whether they are haters, enemies, immature believers, or unrepentant believers.
Rest. Rest in God’s care. Rest in what you know is true. Truth is alway freeing and rest is alway refreshing. As you extend grace and mercy, rest in God’s grace and mercy for you.
PRAY! Don’t talk to others. By that I mean. don’t play the busy-bodies game — don’t add to any discord. Take everything to God in prayer. The old song says, “O what peace we often forfeit; o what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.”
Confide. One of the most important relationships a person can have is a trust relationship with someone who can walk through the hurts with you. Someone who can sort through the hurts, speak truth and life in you, and pray with you along the journey. I CANNOT EMPHASIZE THIS RELATIONSHIP ENOUGH!
Keep On Keeping On! I’m 42 years old and these words from my childhood pastor continue to ring in my ear! KEEP GOING! You are doing the Lord’s work and the work is GREAT. It’s hard, yes, but fulfilling! KEEP GOING!
COMMERCIAL
Pastor or Church Leader, If you have experienced hurt in your ministry — maybe you’re going through it right now, I would love to talk to you. I would love to pray with you and offer you any support that I can. CLICK HERE to schedule a video conference session. The sessions are FREE and confidential. YOU ARE LOVED AND YOU SERVE A GREAT PURPOSE! Don’t fall victim to undue hurts and pains. Let’s walk this road together! I hope to talk with you soon!
To God Be The Glory,
PastorPusch
